Title: Challenge Fic: "Of Cabbages and Kings..."

Author: Selena (gonzo112376@yahoo.com)

Spoilers: Well anything up till today...including all the spoilers for the final three eps of the season.

Note: Due to my recent Spring Break vacation and some internet provider difficulties, I have been (and still am) No Mail for a while. Therefore, I have only seen the Spoiler Challenge Fic, and I haven't read any of those posted. If my fic is similar to something you've read or written, you have my deepest apologies. I hope I'm not stepping on any toes. I just had some extra time and some paper. Here's what happened.

Disclaimer: I own nothing...except a singing, reversible cucumber...so please don't sue me. Also, the lines of the poem don't belong to me, either. I just like them a lot. I guess only the mistakes are mine.

Special thanks to Susan. I consider myself lucky to have you as a friend.

"The time has come...

To talk of many things:

Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing wax --

Of cabbages -- and -- kings --"

From Lewis Carroll's "The Walrus and the Carpenter"

She needed to get out of that house. Suddenly, the music seemed too loud, the conversation too confusing, and the air too warm. On the pretense of excusing herself to the ladies' room, Mac found herself backing secretively out the front door to the porch. She'd been there a moment or two, eyes closed as she held tightly to the porch railing, before she noticed the man who stood unmoving at the far end.

When she finally did see Harm, Mac gave the forced smile that had become all too common in the past weeks. However, Harm met her gaze with the same confused, and perhaps even hurt, expression that Mac had only caught glimpses of in the past. The look vanished as quickly as it had always done, so Mac bit back a sigh and put what she hoped was a cheerful note in her voice.

"So, let me guess...you're either escaping from the noise, the food, or Lieutenant Singer's constant babbling."

Unable to manufacture a smile of his own, Harm walked across the porch until he stood beside Mac. Leaning back against the railing, he faced her and replied, "None of the above." He paused a moment before continuing. "Actually, I'm looking for Renee. She was supposed to meet me, but I guess she's running a little late."

Mac only nodded as she shifted and stared at some distant point beyond the yard. She should have known that was why he was out there. He and Renee had grown close, closer than Mac had even seen Harm get to any woman. Maybe there would be another JAG engagement party soon...

With that surprisingly disturbing thought swirling in her head, it took Mac a few seconds to realize that Harm was still staring intently at her profile. However, she didn't allow herself to turn towards him until she heard his soft whisper. "So, what about you?"

Although she wanted to keep the moment light, Mac's voice was low and serious as she replied, "What *about* me?"

Harm took a deep breath before he met and held Mac's eyes again. "Are you escaping from something...or looking for something?"

Mac's answer somehow caught the two of them by surprise as she whispered, "Both."

She waited for him to reply, just as he waited for her to explain. Seconds stretched into moments before Mac tore her gaze from Harm's and looked back out into the horizon. Somehow it was easier for her to speak if she looked away, but still her words were slow and hesitant.

"Have you ever wanted something so badly that it almost hurt, but then when it was finally yours, you realized that maybe, just maybe, you have no idea how you could've possibly wanted it in the first place?"

Memories and emotions rushed through Harm as he recalled his long search for his father, the vengeance he sought against Diane's murderer, and the struggle that led him to his return to flight duty. Suddenly, Harm knew that Mac could feel those same emotions because she shared those same memories. She had been there with him and for me each of those times. And now as she stood there so lost, Harm wondered if he'd been there for her.

Slowly, Harm turned until they both stared about into the distance. Though he realized that Mac knew the answer to her own question, he quietly answered, "Yeah, I supposed I have...and I guess I was at times lucky enough to realize it before it was too late."

At those softly spoken words, Harm could sense as Mac stiffened. His voice gentle, he continued, "Some say that it's never too late, Sarah."

The trace of tears didn't help to dampen the flash in Mac's eyes. "How can you say that? We're standing outside a party celebrating my engagement to a man I...to a man who loves me. One who wants me. In a few weeks, I'm going to marry him, and then..."

"Thirteen days."

Mac stopped at those two, short words. "What?"

"It's not a few weeks, Mac. It's thirteen days. Thirteen days, four hours, and twenty-two minutes. That's when you're going to marry him."

Shaking her head slowly, Mac stared once again at the man who stood beside her. "I suppose I should be the one who knew that. How did you..."

A bittersweet smile finally came to Harm's face as he interrupted. "It's been five years, and I have been paying attention, Colonel. You've taught me...a lot."

Mac slid a hand over and covered Harm's. "You've taught me a lot, too."

With those simple words and a single touch, it was as though a dam burst. Moments passed as memories were shared. Images of rose gardens, mountain streams, far distant countries, carriers, Tomcats, and submarines were conjured until they both fell silent, merely looking at each other as the sun set behind them. The silence that followed was comfortable until Mac spoke slowly. "I suppose we're at thirteen days, three hours, and fifty-seven minutes now."

Harm saw that the light that had come into Mac's eyes as they'd spoken of the past faded with that statement. Unsure of where he stood, Harm took a chance and said, "It's *not* too late, Mac. You can walk in there and..."

"And, what?" Mac interrupted gently. "Tell a man who moved halfway around the world for me, gave up his entire life for me, that I've been leading him on for a year and a half. I can't do that, Harm." She stopped for a moment before she finished slowly, "And why should I?"

Harm heard the subtle challenge in that last question. More than anything, he wanted to give her a reason, but he felt he'd given up that right a long time more. Too many opportunities had passed him by, and now he felt as though this was one he couldn't take. "I...I'm not the one who can answer that."

Mac felt the moment pass, and suddenly she felt exactly as though she had at another railing...at another time...in another place. Both times, however, she knew that something was ending. Taking a deep breath, she stood up straight and said, "I guess...I guess it's just cold feet. Maybe when you finally get everything you've ever wanted, you should just be happy with it."

Unable to reply, Harm only nodded. He then watched as Mac put a smile back on her face and prepared herself to walk back into the house. However, he wanted one more moment, so he nodded towards the wrapped gift that lay on a chair. "Wait just a second. I wanted to give this to you before, well, before it got too crazy in there."

"You didn't have to, Harm."

"I know I didn't have to. I wanted to. You can open it now, if you want. I mean, I would like it if you opened it here."

Understanding, Mac took the small, gift-wrapped box from him and carefully tore the paper. She paused as she reached the long, velvet box, but then curiosity got the better of her. As she opened the box, a single sparkling sapphire winked back at her. The small, tasteful pendent hung on a thin chain that shone on the white velvet.

"Oh, Harm, it's beautiful...you shouldn't have." She lovingly stroked the necklace before her eyes returned to Harm's.

"Yes, I should have, and I wanted to. I'm not sure what the dress is like, or if this will even go...but I figured, something old, something new, something borrowed..."

"Something blue."

Mac finished the sentence with a voice thick with tears, and Harm could barely make out her words. He could only smile sadly in return as he reached up to catch a teardrop that had almost managed to escape. As he watched Mac try to smile through tears, Harm felt her hand softly cover his own that still lay cupping her cheek.

Suddenly, it was as though time stopped, and neither of them dared breathe as their heads moved closer and closer until lips met in a bare whisper of a kiss. Seemingly endless moments passed as both deepened the kiss, which was reluctantly broken off as the sound of a car in the distance was heard.

"Mac, we should..."

She stopped him with a shake of her head. "No, Harm. That was...it is something I will remember for the rest of my life, but it's just that. A memory. One I'll add to all those I have of you." Mac paused for a moment and took another step back. "And I hope you'll remember it, too...but now I need to go and find Mic." Glancing out at the driveway, she concluded, "And you need to go invite Renee in."

"Yeah, I guess I should.."

With a final look back, Mac turned and headed back into the house. She couldn't even stop as she heard, "I'll always remember, Sarah."

The End